12-31-2002

Ineffable...Another turning point in my life is @ its twilight. A year end of my 22 year, and I now settle my thoughts and experiences upon the page. An ignorant plea for life now kindles within me, as death delivers its time limits. Because of the many wounds revealed in this year alone, an hourglass bleeds my life from my grasp. Countless thoughts bind my spirit which once roamed free. Dry are the eyes that once wept such trivial burdens. Everything is not as it seemed. For so long I have wanted a way out of this painful place, but now faced with my one way ticket, I. am dumbfounded. Given a chance to reverse everything and change this sequence of events, I do not believe I could. How can I not be certain that there is not yet some divine good to be manifest in my pain and death? I cannot see what will benefit from my lonely soul, and it's inevitable suffering. Joy creeps nearer with every year, but fear of deaths aftermath weakens my existence. Kept in God's care as one of its children is all I ask. Love eternally my reward. My doubt comes with a lack of Love from others throughout my Life. Nourished by faith in God and self, I have made it this far in life. Open wounds again replace the scars of my past, intensifying my current struggles. Pain replaces my longing for Love, as a sign that I am living. Quicken my sentence here on Earth as my pain increases, I humbly ask. Reap and sow through my years to come. Save my place @ home while this new year dawns!..

12-31-2002